I must apologize for the gap since my last post, I am severely disappointed in myself for letting this much time get by before I wrote on this bugger again. The server has been moved to a bigger and better server since the last post. We are now rockin’ a beast of an Alienware laptop that won’t slow down on the busy days this domain draws in every now and then. Since the server also provides services besides this blog, hehehe, I needed the extra power that the original junker I set this up on did not provide. Point being, it makes me happy whether you understand what I am talking about your not….which means you should be happy too  I have a few things I would like to talk about today such as the Pirate Bay trials, my Wifi hacking presentation, and whatever else I come up with by the time I get to the fourth paragraph. Here it goes…
So in case you didn’t know,the masterminds behind one of the most infamous torrent trackers, The Pirate Bay, started their trial earlier this week.  Movies and record labels worldwide rejoiced as they thought they were about to sink a titanic player in the torrent industry, they were very wrong. Not two days into the trial, prosecutors dropped the major charges of copyright infringement that would have nailed the Pirate Bay crew to the wall. If at this point you don’t know what a torrent is, it basically is just another way to download things on the internet. Think of a much more sophisticated limewire or Kazaa that is actually inteded to the dissemination of legal materials. The defendents also have developed an ingenous “i-dunno” strategy in order to make their case in court. According to two of the defendents, they don’t read the contracts they sign, proof the speeches they write, or have any idea what the law may say about anything illegal they may be doing. Fredrik Neij, owner of thepiratebay.org, who claims to be dyslexic, backs his site fully saying that he was under the understanding that everything he was doing was legal. Essentially, they guys made a mockery of the courtroom and further infuriated the media industry worldwide as they continue to evade any attempt at ending the pirate’s reign of the internet. They also made a good point in the process, Youtube has a significantly more copyright infringing material that the pirate bay, and even many other torrent trackers that are out there. According to s survey of 1000 torrents on the site, almost 80% of those included legally downloadable content. All in all these guys are fighting the man half the world around. You should follow their trial as they continue their awesome strategy of playing stupid and making judges and lawyers very, very angry.
On February 22nd at 7PM in Dreese 266 here at The Ohio State University, I will be giving a talk about how to hack most commercial Wifi networks’ encryption protocols at the Open Source Club meeting……you should come and watch this crazy shit and maybe learn a thing or two. I will be covering WEP hacking, WPA hacking as well as going in depth on the protocols themselves in order to show their strength’s and then their weaknesses….mostly by cracking them open like a little binary walnut. And, if there is time, I may even go into man-in-the-middle attacks and how they can be used to steal anything and everything you send over a network that has been cracked. This, of course, is just a proof of concept talk and nothing I talk about or show you should be used except for testing purposes and fun  You should come so I can make you a wizard in cracking dumb peoples networks who make their passphrase something like “wireless” or “hackmeogodpleasehackme.” Even if you are not computer literate you should still join b/c this stuff is cool and I will do my best to make it the best computer talk your eyes will ever witness. If not, its cool, you read my blog so you’re still on my A list.
Back in normal people world…..I would like to take this time to say that I hate people who have this idea that they have this God given right to drive in the left lane even though they are not passing anyone. This idea is completely ludicrous. I actually once saw a bumper sticker on a ladies truck (who was driving 50 in a 65 in the LEFT LANE) that said, “I can drive in the left lane if I want to.” NOOOOOOO!!!!! If i wasn’t traveling > 60 MPH at the time I would get out of my car and pound some sense into this idiots head. I know that in Kentucky you can actually be ticketed for driving in the left lane if you are not passing anyone…..this rule should be established worldwide to keep idiots like the bumper sticker lady in the lane that they belong. It drives me absolutely insane when I am in a hurry, or I just can’t stand being behind someone anymore, when I cannot pass a group of cars because one of these people who think it is their divine right to be in the left lane is in front of me. I typically set my cruise at 75+, which is a good deal faster than most cars on the highway, so I spend a lot of my time passing people……BUT, once I pass them I get right back into the right lane so that if someone is going 90 they can get around me with ease, problem freaking solved.  This drives me insane and happened like 6 times on my way back from Dayton this morning so I had to get it off my chest. I’m out for tonight, I have actual school work that I should be putting my thoughts into
And now, for your viewing pleasure……a really long but hilarious review of the NES game Back to the Future. Watch it, it’s way worth it
I would like to take some time now to discuss this whole Facebook Terms of Service issue that I’m sure you have seen lingering at the top of your facebook home page. I personally don’t find it at all suprising that facebook tried to pull this crap but it is nonetheless pretty freakin’ scary that they almost got away with it. For those of you that don’t know, Facebook attempted to silently alter their Terms of Service to basically say that they have the rights to anything and everything you decide to stick in your little facebook world.  By silently I mean that they changed it and didn’t bother to let anyone know that they now own all the stuff that you decide to post. They CLAIM that they do not need to let anyone know that they have altered their terms of service but that is absolute crap. They knew full well how bad this would piss people off and so they tried to sneak it in without anybody noticing it. Lucky for all of you guys there are more people like me out there defending your internet rights from dumb (and borderline illegal) stuff like this. The reason that facebook claims they did nothing wrong in not letting anyone know is because of this little clause in the original ToS, “revisable without notice and with or without cause.” This is like crossing your fingers while swearing on the bible in court and claiming that you can’t be held in comtempt for going against your oath because you were crossing your fingers. There is another page that goes along with this that advises facebook users to read the Terms of Service every time you visit your page. Have you ever read the thing? It’s god awfully long and full of horrible legal dribble that no one wants to read every single time they want to get on and stalk that hot girl from down the hall or post a picture of themselves and their significant other touching their tongues together. Now besides the fact that they claim they should be able to alter their ToS whenever they want and not tell anyone, there’s the issue that they tried to take ownership of all things on your facebook.   CEO Mark Zuckerburg tried to talk his way around the subject by saying that the clause was necessary to drive the social features of the site, but I seriously could have drawn up a ToS myself that could have done that without trying to take the rights to all of our stuff. Nice try Zuckerburg, but we just aren’t that stupid. Let me present you with a hypothetical situation. Let’s say that you have a glorius picture of yourself posted on facebook, with complete privacy settings enacted and everything so that only the people you want can see it. In this picture you are doing a kegstand with two dude holding you up, your skirt up to your boobs, and your pink victoria secret thong in full view that doesn’t cover up that gay little cliched star tattoo on your hip that you don’t want your mom to know about. Under these knew terms of service that facebook didnt bother to tell you about, it would be perfectly legal for them to use this picture in an advertising campaign of theirs. Let’s say facebook decided to campaign in your local college newspaper, and used this picture in the ad. Your mom comes to town for the weekend and picks up this newspaper and sees this picture of you doing this awesome kegstand. She recognizes the thong because it has gone through the laundry at home before and she also recognizes the skirt because she bought it for you last christmas. BUSTED, and facebook has done absolutely nothing wrong. Now I know this is a gross exaggeration of a possible outcome but I did it to prove a point. Freaky, huh? The other crazy thing is that even if you were to delete your facebook, they could keep it around on their servers and use all your stuff for their gain anyways…since they do own it and all. Even more freaky. Now that I have alerted you to this almost successful personal information hijacking attempt that facebook made, you should vote in that poll to your right and tell me what you think about this whole situation.
On a lighter note, I think I aced my stats test this morning…which is awesome. I am also making my way back to Gem City (hahaha, it always makes me laugh when I say that) tonight to see off a friend who is leaving for boot camp soon. For those of you who don’t know what Gem City is, it’s Dayton….now see why I am laughing?  Anyways, I feel like I have rambled enough for today and provided you with some useful information to go kick facebook in the nuts with.
And now for your viewing pleasure, this video was suggested by William….so here you go man
So a few people deserve payment for their contributions. The Tim gets 7.99 Theoretical Dollars for his suggestion on the Ricker’s Red beer. 7.99 is how much I imagine a 6 pack Ricker’s Red would cost so that’s what The Tim gets. The second payment goes out to Speers for backing up the T-Shirt with a picture of me on it story and he gets 6 Theoretical Dollars because I’m pretty sure that’s how much the t-shirt cost. You guys are now on your way to making some mad theoretical bank. The phrase “mad bank” apparently means making a lot of money, and it is currently my favorite gangster phrase. Eric Richmond gets 3 Theoretical Dollars for originally introducing me to this phrase, even though I am not even positive that he reads this blog. My friend Nicole also needs to be recognized for her mentioning of my stunt over the weekend. I actually should charge her Theoretical Dollars for this but I guess I will dole out 1 Theoretical Dollar since she technically did “contribute.” I’m just kidding, it actually was quite funny. To sum up, I back flipped off of a bench into a bush. Yes, I did land it. Well I would have if there hadn’t of been a bush there but I did complete a full rotation. Recognize.
I am amazed at how many views this page has gotten over the past 4 days. I really honestly thought that I would be talking to myself on here but I am honored by the hits. Since it’s opening on February 12th al3k.net has garnered 113 views by 113 separate people. This isn’t like me clicking on my own page 113 times, but actually 113 seperate people, or at least a few people at like 26 different IP addresses each, who have viewed my blog in the last 4 days. I am completely flattered. As a thank you, I give you all $20 Theoretical Dollars. Use these dollars as you see fit    Also, as a thank you, I took the time to update the How-To section with a few helpful things for everyone Windows and Linux alike. Just be careful so that I don’t end up at your house fixing your computer because of a How-To that I wrote. Check out the how-to section above for the new ones. I must also apologize for that crappy drop down box, I haven’t yet found the time to look at it yet.
I have a Statistics mid-term coming up so it may be a little quiet around here until Wednesday and then I promise I will have some more witty observations for you to read and laugh about. As a final note, apparently I have been spelling the word separate wrong for 19 years and had absolutely no idea. I am extremely dissapointed with myself because I typically take pride in my spelling abilities but I have just let myself down because I honestly thought it was spelled seperate.
Since this was a short post I will leave you with another present including the youtube video I always stick at the bottom. It’s a riddle, and an extremely hard one at that. First I will need to define a word using it in a sentence.
— A heterological word is a word that does not describe itself
Now tell me….is heterological a heterological word? mwuahahaha
And now, for your viewing pleasure…..a mentos commerical by a few film students. and an homage to my own backflip
My head hurts today, I will not go into any more detail because this should be self explanatory. It was a friend of mine’s 21st last night and he had a nice little “dress retro” party, and it was a lot of fun. At first I was made fun for supposedly not joining in on the whole theme but I quickly explained to them why my retro outfit was way better than theirs. I was wearing a hideous express collared shirt ,which so ingeniously disguises itself as a respectful button up, that I truthfully found in a Goodwill in Dayton. It’s not very often that you find such nice shirts in a Goodwill but this shirt was an excellent find and if you saw the shirt you would immediately realize what it was doing in a thrift store. The shirt is a very odd combination of black, brown, forest green, baby blue, grey and tan all striped into one awesome freakin’ shirt. I see that you now immediately realize how incredibly wrong they were about my outfit. Granted everyone else was wearing really tacky plaid pants and I was wearing jeans, so they had some room to complain about what I was wearing, but I have left out the second part of my outfit that also just appeared to be a regular pair of shoes but, in fact, also had a colorful history involving thrift stores. These shoes might be the most comfortable shoes on the face of the planet, this is a claim that I am willing to back to the fullest extent possible. My parents hate these shoes, almost as much as I love them but not quite. One day, my mom had the bright idea of secretly stashing these shoes in the donation bag that we gather up with all the clothes that we do not wear anymore and then gave this bag containing my shoes to the Goodwill close to our house. As soon as I got home and realized that both the bag and my shoes were gone, my brain very quickly put two and two together. I kid you not, the next day I drove to that Goodwill and bought back my own shoes for a grand total of $4, and it was totally worth it. On a completely unrelated note, I once found a shirt in this same Goodwill with a picture of me on it…..this is a completely true story and I can give you contact information for like 7 different people who can confirm this claim.
on to the topics that this post was supposed to cover…..
One of my favorite Dave Chappelle skits of all time is completely relevant to anybody who has come into contact with white males from the ages of 18 -- 28 ish. The premise of this skit is that, whether you care or not, if you get a young white guy on the topic of drinking or parties he’s been to recently, he will then proceed to catalogue everything that he thinks he drank that night. By thinks he drank, I mean all the he can recall and sometimes exaggerate to make himself look cool. The reason why I can make such a flagrant claim against the white male is that I, Alek Rollyson, have committed this deed as well. Seriously, think about it. Every time you discuss partying with another white dude at some point he will inform you as to what alcoholic liquids he poured down his esophagus that night. I talked to such a person last night, I actually talked to more than one and they all fit into this category of young, white males. The other thing that I have noticed (which Dave also talks about in this bit) is that all white guys seem to want to talk about when they get drunk…..is other times they got drunk! “Hey dude, you remember at John’s party last week? Yea man I was totally smashed.” If you listen very carefully, you will hear variations on this story throughout the entire night. If you don’t hear that, you WILL hear something like this, “Yea man I had like 3 shots of jager, a shot of tequila, 2 bongs, 6 beers and we won like 7 games of pong dude.” And then his friend will bust out his catalog of drinks he consumed, “Yea man I remember that! (This is a lie by the way b/c its probably not even true) That was awesome and I had like 4 shots of 100 proof SoCo, some Absolut and then killed a 12 pack of stones to myself.” Notice how this guy included the proof in his description, because giving the proof not only proves you are educated in the ways of alcohol it also means you are more of a man. Don’t get me wrong, I love my drinks, but this is hilarious (and sometimes very annoying) because it is universally true for all young white guys. The only reason I haven’t included females in this statistic is because I actually have gone entire nights without hearing a girl present her catalog to other people. Here’s a link to the Chappelle skit i referenced. And that’s all I have to say about that…
The last thing I have to say is about beer that is brewed domestically…..and that is that most of it sucks. The more I try things that are not crappy, the more I find that imports are far superior to anything that I have yet to find that is brewed here in the states.  The one exception to this would have to be Killian’s, but I don’t know whether I would consider this a credit to American beer because it was thought up in Enniscorthy, Ireland in 1864 (or at least that is what wikipedia told me). But….you may not care about this because this is purely a matter of opinion and everybody is different….especially when it comes to beer. So I will just end this topic with a joke. American beer is like having sex in a canoe, its f***ing close to water. ( I am going to censor the bad things from now on b/c I just recently found out my youngest brother reads this and I don’t want to taint his ears….as if me talking about college life already hasn’t :p hi Payton by the way )
And now, for your viewing pleasure…..a leprechaun in Alabama (check out the amateur sketch hahaha)
So I have a noticed a pattern here. I know this blog has only been active for a few days but the 3 votes I have garnered send me a clear message, you are all greedy bastards. I kid, but apparently you want me to pay you to read the diatribes that I spill onto these virtual pages. Now unfortunately I don’t have the equity to pay people to read my thoughts but I will pay an homage to South Park and offer up an opportunity for money of sorts, and by this I mean theoretical money. If you’re deprived and have not seen this episode of South Park, I will now explain to you what these theoretical dollars are. In the episode, Canada goes on strike demanding more money for the things that they contribute to the world…..which is not much besides beer and abnormally good hockey players (the running joke of the show). Now in order to get Canada to stop striking, Stan and Kyle devise a plan to make money on the internet by creating a youtube sensation, which just happens to be South Park’s version of this horrid thing. Anyways, the point is that they are rewarded Theoretical Money for the large audience they attracted which they in turn donate to Canada and it ends up only earning each Canadian a free buy-one-get-one-free coupon to Bennigan’s. Now, in the same vein, since you guys insist on being paid, I will reward theoretical money to any contribution of any kind to this blog…..regardless of the contribution. The word contribution also implies a positive addition and not hating, or flaming, or anything of that nature which I will just return a very nasty virus as payback (I really wouldn’t test me on that one :p) .
Now you also may be wondering to yourself “What in the hell is Nerds-Day?” (It’s in the title for anyone who is completely stumped). I have decided to dedicate thursdays to talking about nerdy things that are important to me, I would take this as wonderful news if I were you b/c it is a great opportunity to learn how to do awesome shit without even getting up out of your chair…..which is a major plus to being a nerd. I would like to despell any ideas that I am a complete nerd though…..I do actually get out of my chair and participate in any sport I can get my hands/feet/head into. Anyways, Thursday has been designated Nerds-Day by me mainly because I thought it sounded phonetically similar to Thursday…..how clever of me. I will now ramble to no end about things you do not care about……
So during my endless pursuit to god-like nerd-dom I discovered some very interesting things about the network here at school.   On the F.A.Q’s for the network there is a question asking about sharing printers between roommates. The response to this question was a very clear and concise, “No, we have blocked netbios at the user port level so this is not possible.” This statement is utterly and completely false and allows me to do lots of interesting and fun things. Now one of those things is to share things in between computers….which is extremely unimpressive in itself but the part that IS interesting is that this is exactly what they said I would not be able to do. They also claim to block all incoming TCP traffic to the network as well, now this claim is even more absurd than the first for many reasons. First of all, this would make what I am doing right now completely impossible. Two, this would make doing anything productive while connected to the network also, completely impossible, or at least very counter-productive. The second thing that I discovered is that all the IP addresses face the internet directly…..which is very odd yet very awesome at the same time and it is the main reason why I am able to have this blog at all. In case you were wondering, this blog is hosted an an old desktop running Ubuntu that is currently located under my desk, be jealous. I know, I know all you 1337 h4x0rs out there are going to make fun of me for running Ubuntu but give me a break, I run Debian too it’s just everything is just packaged up so nice and neat makes things much more organized and it’s just plain easier; in other words, suck it. Just kidding
Just as a side note, never watch the movie College….I just watched 3 guys take body shots out of a very hairy man’s ass crack. Besides that, it’s just a horrible movie.
Anyway, back to what I was talking about. My findings about the network here have been nothing short of awesome. They have supplied my roommate and I with countless hours of watching Scrubs, South Park, Lost, CSI, you name the show I have it…and we watched it, several thousand times. There are other advantages that I am not at liberty to discuss here but I will leave you with a very clever acronym that I actually extracted from my overflowing mountain of wit…ASS. I will let you ponder on the greatness of those 3 letters.
And now, for you viewing pleasure. The genius of the band that is Flight of the Conchords
So you’ve found my blog, for whatever reason, and that reason doesn’t really matter because at this point I have your attention whether you like it or not. Right now you may be asking yourself…”Why am I even reading this junk? This guy is neither funny nor famous.” You may know me, you may not know me, you may even despise me for wasting precious moments of your life rambling about nothing. But, as long as I have your attention you may as well keep reading
I have set a new personal record, I actually maintained a blog of mine for two days in a row. Seeing as how I actually took the time to secure a real domain name (al3k….isn’t it sweet?), and I am hosting it on a computer that resides underneath my desk I will hopefully be more inclined to ramble on this thing rather than confuse and bewilder some of my closest friends. The cool thing about a blog is that you don’t actually have to physically see the looks of “What the hell are you talking about?” that i get from some of the people I talk to on a regular basis. Also, since this site is conveniently hosted on the same server that just so happens to host other special things (wink wink…), it will inevitably force at least somebody to read it.
I have attempted this whole blog thing before and failed miserably, mostly because my attempts at blogging came at times where I was very irritated and my posts tended to drag on about things I didn’t like and I usually just ended up depressing myself let along whoever else actually read what I was writing. I was recently inspired to attempt this whole thing again by a certain basketball player here at OSU, and his very strange infatuation with Journey. Granted, who doesn’t like Journey? ( I know that I cannot even resist the temptation to belt out “Don’t Stop Believing” at times.) but it seems that he has taken his liking of one of rock’s greatest bands to an entirely new level. But I digresses, the point of all this was to make a pact with myself to actually maintain this thing and give me a space to voice my own thoughts and personal adventures into the stuff I occasionally get myself into. I have noticed that this blog has been up for less than 24 hours and already 100% of mypoll responses fall into the “I will only read this junk if you pay me category.” But that’s ok, this isn’t for you anyways. Although any sort of fan base that this thing draws will always be greatly appreciated of course. There might tend to be a lot of technical jargon in here too because I have decided that I am also going to document any cool stuff I come across to use as personal projects for myself (this server being one of them) so you’re more than welcome to entertain yourself to it or just blow it off as me just being stupid.
Thanks for reading, I’ll try and keep this thing updated as much as I possibly can so you can laugh at whatever it is i have to say about whatever it is that I was thinking at the moment….whether is was intended to be funny or not :p
And now for your viewing pleasure……a kid who appears to have been drugged by his dentist
 I have a few things I would like to talk about today such as the Pirate Bay trials, my Wifi hacking presentation, and whatever else I come up with by the time I get to the fourth paragraph. Here it goes…
 You should come so I can make you a wizard in cracking dumb peoples networks who make their passphrase something like “wireless” or “hackmeogodpleasehackme.” Even if you are not computer literate you should still join b/c this stuff is cool and I will do my best to make it the best computer talk your eyes will ever witness. If not, its cool, you read my blog so you’re still on my A list.