Step 1: Backup all your shit
Step 2: Download this.
Step 3: Burn that to a CD or DVD, whichever you prefer
Step4: Change the boot order in your BIOS so you can boot from that new awesome CD you have
Step 5: Insert your CD/DVD and reboot your computer
Step 6: Click “Install Ubuntu”
Step 7: Follow very obvious instructions that my 12 year old sister could even understand
Step 8: Witness the awesomeness that will soon be your brand spankin new computer that will be way better than it was before
Step 9: Thank Alek
Step 10: Party (this step is not optional)
This was all a joke by the way, treat it as my way of lightening the mood for more advanced things to come. Disclaimer: this WILL erase everything you have on your computer so don’t do this unless you already know what you are doing or have consulted me prior to performing step 6 
-al3k-